Approaching the subject of getting your boyfriend’s mom a Mother’s Day gift can be quite unnerving, especially since you don’t know his mom as well as you know yours.
Getting your boyfriend’s mom a gift on Mother’s Day isn’t obligatory at all, so it all depends on how you feel towards getting her a gift. Doubtlessly, there are quite a few factors to consider or situations that you could be in which determine if it makes sense to buy one.
Getting A Gift for Your Significant Other’s Mom Should Never Be a Burden
There are multiple things to consider when deciding whether or not to buy a gift for your boyfriend’s mother.
Although there are a lot of different circumstances that people find themselves in, the factors below should provide you with a clearer picture to guide you along in your decision.
The Length of Your Relationship with Your Boyfriend
New Relationships – Less Than 6 Months
When you’re only a few months into your relationship with your boyfriend, you should not worry yourself sick about getting a gift for his mom.
There’s no obligation at all to buy a gift although it’s entirely understandable that you’d want to make a good impression on her. Who doesn’t?!
At this stage of the relationship, the desire to please could be overwhelming. So, it’s important to keep the emotions in check and settle for something simple, in both appearance and the amount of money you spend.
While buying or not buying a gift isn’t an issue, buying something expensive at this point might be over-stepping things a little.
Less Than 12 Months into the Relationship
Although the relationship is still relatively new, you’d have met your boyfriend’s mom a few times by now. At this stage getting a gift for her would not seem out of place.
Your increased knowledge of her preferences and interests, compared to the initial couple of months of dating, would stand you in good stead to decide more readily if you should buy her a gift.
And if you think you should, what gift would suit her better!
More Than One Year into the Relationship
The relationship has reached a certain stage of maturity in terms of your understanding your boyfriend’s family.
Having spend a holiday season or two with them, you can fall back on your knowledge of their family traditions, especially around the subject of gift giving.
But not all relationships progress at the same pace, that much is true!
So, if it’s only now that say, you’re attending his family get-together for Mother’s Day for the first time, the same questions asked earlier would probably be running through your mind.
Don’t worry if you’re unsure about a certain aspect of buying gift for your boyfriend’s mom. Simply discuss it with your boyfriend and you’ll do just fine – he knows his family!
The Makeup of Your BF’s Family
To make things simple – you’re either looking at a small or a large family.
Is your BF the only child in his family?
Or, is his mom a single parent?
If either one or both answers are yes, then he most probably has a very close relationship with his mom.
Therefore, any thoughtful ideas you have – including buying your boyfriend’s mom a gift on Mother’s Day – would make him happy as well.
If he has multiple siblings, getting a gift at an early stage of your relationship – especially an extravagant one – may not be very well received by his siblings. In this case, taking it slowly and probably buying a small and simple gift would suffice.
Your Relationship with Your BF’s Mother
From your initial interaction with her, do you see her as a motherly figure?
Is she treating you like a daughter she never had?!
If yes, buying a gift would be a great acknowledgement of the bond you share with her.
On the contrary, if your boyfriend’s mom isn’t exactly welcoming to you and neither does she dislike you, then it may not be necessary to rush to buy her that first gift.
Although, of course, it doesn’t hurt to express courtesy through whatever gift you can think of that could put a smile on her face.
Have You Been Invited to Celebrate The Day Together?
If you have, get his mom a small gift. If this is your first invite to the get-together, perhaps bring a small fruit basket, or a box of dessert, or a box of chocolate – these are more “neutral” gifts.
Gift Giving Tradition In The Family
Ask your boyfriend about the gift-giving “culture” within his family, especially if he has siblings.
Is it customary for unmarried significant others to bring gifts? This is good to know so you don’t risk making the weird choice.
It’s noteworthy that in some families, strange = bringing gifts. While in others, strange = not bringing gifts.
Your Commitment to Future Gift Giving
Are you committed to giving gift on the occasion for the future as well?
If not, going all gung-ho for the first time might make you feel “stuck” with gift-giving in the future when it could feel emotionally draining to keep up the practice every single time.
This may be an unconventional thought, but it’s true.
Quick Tips on Buying a Mother’s Day Gift for Your BF’s Mom
As you’d probably already be buying your Mom a Mother’s Day gift – however much that may cost – spending more than that for your boyfriend’s mom would probably send the wrong message.
Your mother won’t be too happy if she finds out. Your boyfriend would feel odd that you’re doing that.
Buying joint gifts with your boyfriend may work well, especially when it’s for an occasion when you’re buying gifts for both sides of the family.
In such a situation, it’ll be perfect when the gift goes with a card that’s from “both of us”!
With the abundant choices of gifts – from homemade gift baskets with items and themes that moms love to tea gifts that have been carefully curated to suit the tea lover mothers – there’s no shortage of suitable joint gifts you could get with your BF.
Mothers usually would not expect her son’s girlfriend to bring her a gift, or to put her children in difficult situations – especially when it’s about spending their hard-earned money on buying gifts for her – so it’s not an issue at all if you don’t give one.
But again, this is something true only in general. You’d know your situation and your boyfriend’s mom better.
Therefore, you should follow your instinct on this. Whenever in doubt, speak with your boyfriend to decide what’s best for the situation.